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03 กรกฎาคม

Talking about Winter

 

 

Winter
 
 
I dont know
if it's winter or summer
My wings are chilled
but soul is burnt on fire
 
I dont know
if you can see me or see it
yes, baby, it is me flaming
in the sky with dust flying
 
I dont care
if you love me or hate me
are you listening
the song says I've been waiting
 
I dont mind
to fly through another storm
and disremember where I was going
things changed are changing
 
I dont want
this endless solitude
this meaningless screaming
this torn-apart dreaming
 
I dont want
this endless solitude
this endless waiting
this fucked up waiting
 
 
VOL. 4 Never Never
 
I could not spend another night at bar with Mr.Denn. Too many comedy jokes and so much fun. People started to question me what I could do. Well, hell new yorkers, let me bring up a crazy jazz. "A song to a girl I ever loved and love..." I always brought this quote up while sending nictation to the bartender girl, in order to get my next whiskey for free...or things might not work in that way...
 
You're a no good, heartbreaker
You're a liar, you're a cheat
And I don't know why
I let you do these things to me
 
My friends keep telling me that you ain't no good
Oh well, I'd leave you if I could
I guess I'm on tight
And I'm stuck like glue
Cuz I ain't never
I ain't never, I ain't never
never never
Loved a girl the way that I
I love you

Sometimes I know I thought
You would run out of food
But I was so wrong
You got the one you'll never lose
The way you treat me is shame
How could you hurt me so bad
baby you know that I'm the best thing that you ever had
Kiss me once again
Don't you never never say that we're through
Cuz I ain't never
never never
Loved a girl the way that I
I love you

I can't sleep at night
and I can't eat a bite
And I guess I'll never be free
Since you got your hooks in me
 
I ain't never loved a girl
I ain't never loved a girl
never never loved a girl
the way that I
I love you
 
 
VOL. 3 Stacie in Brooklyn
 
I finally know why I'd rather to go to a movie on a date than anything else. We do not have to talk in hours; I do not have to hear her bitching; I don't have to share a single piece of my mind with a woman. Brooklyn made me drunk many times because I prefer to leave my memory on what I paid for. Let's make it Christmas, Stacie. Let's make love through this coldness. But still, please do not make any noise.
 
I don't need a cab to go back
in my glass I see the map
I can just walk along Bedford
and find a bed for devil.
 
Stacie this is the Brooklyn
let's sleep and hearing the rainin
tell me that is really rainin
not some girl next door cryin

I can love you but I can't love you
I can need you but I can't need you
 
Well I don't need a cab to go back
yet  roadway lights are out of whack
I can just return on the Bedford
buy a drink and remember no more
 
Stacie this is your Brooklyn
god knows this place means nothing
so it was the damn raining
there was no one cryin
 
I can leave but I can't leave
I can breathe but I can't breathe
 
All I need is another drink
before fucked up take another walkin
All I need is another Brooklyn
not you Stacie, not you honey.
 
 
VOL. 2 Saving Me
 
We were unleashed and ran onto 101 Freeway. Nickelback brought this song thru the radio. It's cold outside. It's cold inside. It reminded me prison break. I may pack up tonight to head to Ness Loch; I have to stay driving along, I mean alone.
 
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawling
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm calling
And I scream for you
Hurry! I'm falling, I'm falling

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm falling
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh, I scream for you
Come please I'm calling
And all I need from you
Hurry! I'm falling, I'm falling

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm calling

And all I need is you
Come please! I'm calling
And I scream for you
Hurry! I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling
 
 
 VOL. 1  Californian Rain
 
It was a rainy day when I moved to my first apartment in Los Angeles. Highway was surrounded by white steam - the heat out of vehicles shuttling along their ways. No mantter how fast the blades brushed, the road was blurred. I opened the window next to me, waiting for the raindrops taking my heat away - maybe - the smell as well.
 
 
This is my Californian rain
no one can enjoy my sky
I can hear the whisper
along with every mile
 
It's the sound of rain
that I have been waiting
It's the sound of rain
that keeps people driving
 
This is my Californian rain
it is cold but not quite
kiss come and gone
can't wait for asking why
 
It's the smell of rain
brings up the smell of memory
It's the smell of rain
takes away the smell of memory
 
This is my Californian rain
I wish for a little wind
This is my Californian rain
I just need a little wind
12 พฤษภาคม

what is my spiritual path?

 

What is my spiritual path?

 

 

As a human being, we all have a soul, which make us to think and live. Even though, when we were little kids. From age (0-6), We all started as the very initial steps, which called baby period. In this period, our soul is initialing at its most basic level. For the most part of the work, we were receiving information that goes into our brain. To the age of (7-14), the child gets developed as a premature human being, which called childhood. By all means, they can be functioned not only to listen, and also to ask why. After age 14 to 18, as the brain gets more complicated to its growth development, we started to seek desires, wants, knowledge, love, money all surroundings … how ever, what is said to be true of our desires? Is it individualism or materialism? How can we release us from all the badness of our life and enlighten us to go beyond these human limits and finally reach our spiritual path in practice? Would we die in the haven or in the hell?

 

What people want

       If you were asking Hindu, what do people want? A senior Hindu would say: “ they want four things in nature; Pleasure, success, duty and liberation”. These wants are correlated coincidently with each other in Hindu religion.

      

Pleasure

 

       They begin by wanting pleasure. This is natural; we are born with built –in pleasure- pain reactors. For people who want pleasure, Indian say: go after it. Relative speaking, there is nothing wrong with it, if we were believe in Hindu. Hindu suggests that Pleasure is a series of experience. Even cosmetology agrees with it. A person would experience his cheerfulness since his birth, growth, and marriage, to his death. In addition, to its very extinct term “ pleasure after death”, Hindu believe that everything would be in a set of circulation, when people dies, they go back to where they were belonged, to the haven or to the hell. So, life is just an experience, too seek the true meaning of the life, and go after it. If you do appreciate a positive answer, and then live with it; certainly, this does not have to be argued for a contemporary western audience or individual value. They are in the same set of rules, which requires hard work to success and duty to our society; finally, we can reach the liberation of our life by experiencing our lovely nature.

Success

 

Wealth, fame and power are the most desires people want. How ever are those the only key to the means of the success? Well, it has to go over with different aspects. However, in every culture, the only key to the success would not only be the means of wealth. Wealth is not everything.  For instance, you own a million dollar in cash, live in your luxury town house in Hollywood with your beautiful wife, have a wonderful job in Hollywood, and drive a BMW 350Z back and forth to work. Suddenly, you found out you had a brain cancer for 10 years and there won’t be any treatment for it, and you have 3 month left in your entire life. Would you still feel successful and be cheerful everyday? Since the wealth is not like mental and spiritual treasures, they cannot be dispensed without diminishing one’s own portion and kept forever. How ever, when you die, your soul won’t die.

 

Duty

 

Duty is one of the most important steps in getting liberation. When one lives in the society, the one has to contribute to the society, to be one of its employees. This even coordinates with western value as it was originated from Indian culture. Duty can be found in various aspects of life, the role of each player has to set his rules in order to obey the rules and moral standards. We cannot do anything we want to fulfill our manmade desires. It is regarded as morally incumbent, apart from personal likes and dislikes or any external compulsion. Such action must be viewed in relation to a principle, which may be abstract in the highest sense or based on local and personal relations.

 

 

Liberation

       Pleasure, success, and duty are not what we really want, the Hindu says; what we really want is to be, to know, and to be happy. No one wants to die, to be in the dark about things, or to be miserable. Pleasure, success, and duty are only approximations of what we really want; they are apertures through which our true wants come through to us. Finally, what we want is freedom, - liberation from worries.

 

 

Conclusions and Synthesis of My philosophical Reflections.

 

I personally think that any human being on the earth has its own attitude towards life experience. It can be said as our main distinguishes from animal and plants. Through the human revolution, we developed our most intelligent tool –brain, to think, to work in our own way. So, that has given us the chance and ability to be a smart host in domain of our planet, and to allocate the useful resource in serving of our people.

 

Positive attitude about life.

 

Let’s be smart about using our limited time and resources, do not waste it on drugs and sex; instead, we should use it on life and course work. Becoming rich doesn’t mean we own something, which has the priority than others, remember, god made us all the same.

 

Hard work

      Learning philosophy doesn’t mean we have to sit there for days to figure out the meaning of life and not go to work. We live in a highly completive society which requires the most people go to work, keep up a solid attitude. The production makes world go around would never be wrong. American society is not all about sybarite, other wise, we would not have to be called “super nation”. It is based on a 90% of capitalism in its major economic components, mainly, goods and services. That means, for a typical worker, one doesn’t work for the day, the one would be hunger and hanging on the street begging for the food at night.

 

Be responsible

Be responsible to family and friends would benefit you from personal growth, enlighten yourself to happiness, and value yourself as a responsible adult.

 

Meditation

 

Meditation can be hard for some people; it is not the right solution for all. However, it will help you and benefit you from many fields if you appreciate it and take it seriously to enlighten your spiritual path. Take a fifteen minutes meditation exercise at the end of the day, it even help you reduce fat, lose weight, help to cure diabetes and other diseases. You will find it helpful especially when you feel lost in your life and expecting directions. It works on the conception of calming you down, resting your brain, losing your body, so you can be released from our stressful life everyday.

02 เมษายน

休息日

 
200次100LB挺胸,100次50LB三头,100次50LB二头,慢跑十五分钟, 游水一个钟. (玩水)
 
      今天是休息的第一天,为了不浪费时间,补充了这段时间没去锻炼的短缺, 游泳池离我住的地方100多FEET, SUMMER天,我每两天都要来,由于现在我买了架杠铃健身(胸,臂,腿)器,就不用花钱去了,再说又不是很热. 今天游泳的人很少,看不到美女跳水.游了几个回合,由于长时间不去,之前又作了力量,有点累. 游了下,回家吧,冲凉,换衫,没找女朋友,什么钱都省了. 今天没人,我冲凉就不穿底裤了,平时都要穿的,虽然都是MALE,但也是公共场所,再说那玛多同性恋... 不穿洗起来真是舒服, 不过有人在我肯定不习惯.记得刚来的时候,在这里冲凉,我脱光冲,有几个十几岁黑小孩对我说,你够结实的,皮肤也够滑,真是猛,竟然脱了洗.说着还把手伸进自己裤子里作打手枪的动作.真是气四我了,现在想起来 都不爽,如果在大陆早把你们作了,死黑蛋,TMD,我猛不猛关你什么事,我又不跳TABLE DANCE.
     
     回到家,开TV看安火箭对快传,达到最后总算赢了,还不算丢人. 上网看看新闻,股票,外汇,无聊的人是只剩下时间关心金钱的奴隶,哈哈在过两天就是22岁生日,我还什么都不是呢.